Central  South  Dakota  Medical News
The Clinical View
by Phillip Hoffsten,M.D.
24 March 2004

SOME SECRETS OF SUCCESS

     By conservative estimates at least 40% of the deaths that occur in the United States each year result from self-destructive behavior.  This number is easy to calculate.  There are approximately 2 million deaths per year in the United States.  Recent statistics published in our newspapers and journals noted that there are approximately 400,000 deaths a year related to overweight and another 400,000 deaths a year from smoking cigarettes.  When one adds in another 90,000 deaths from alcohol-related disease and 15,000 deaths from suicides, self-destructive behavior is by far the leading cause of death and medical expense in our society.

     So many times patients who are overweight with diabetes and hypertension, high blood cholesterols, smoking problems or alcohol problems seek medical attention stating that they just don’t seem to be able to manage the problem.  They can’t stop smoking, they can’t stop eating too much or they can’t stop drinking excessively.  When I asked these patients what keeps them from changing their habits, the answers are variable.  Excuses abound.  Frustration is everywhere.  Answers were non-existent.

     An alternative strategy was suggested by a pair of psychologists who suggested talking to people who had been successful in stopping smoking, dealing with an alcohol problem, or losing weight.  These psychologists stated that it was useless to talk to people who have not been successful.  These psychologists said that it was obvious that this unsuccessful group of people don’t know how.  Instead, talk to people who have been successful and see what they do to break the self-destructive habits that they have.  Below are some of the success stories that followed from this strategy.

     Rule #1:  “Stop trying”.  So many times a patient will come in and say that they are trying to lose weight or they are trying to stop smoking.  Try is a command to fail.  When someone says ”try” to do this or do that, they are not really saying to “do” this or “do” that.  Instead the command is to make an attempt (try).  That is very different than actually doing it.  In addition, when a person says that they are trying, very frequently, they are being dishonest with themselves.  The effort and resources directed to the problem will not be equal to what is needed for success.

     When I have talked to people that lost weight or stopped smoking, almost to a person, they stated that they decided they were just going to do it and the effort was made with adequate resources to achieve the success they were looking for.  It would never be suggested that this is easy but trying is a cop-out.

     Rule #2:  “State your goals in the positive”.  So many times you hear a person say, “I will never do that again”.  That can be eat chocolate, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, etc. etc. One of the properties of the human mind is the need for measurable, identifiable closure to a problem.  If we play a game we win or we lose and then get on with our life.  But the game is over.  If we build something or write something or do something, at some point the effort is completed.  But the only way that you can “never” do something again is to have time stop or you die.  The latter seems more likely than the former and you won’t be there to enjoy the success.  Through the rest of your life you are making an effort to never do something.   You cannot be successful until you die and have never done it.  Usually this type of effort is stressful and strewn with temptation again and again.  Each temptation requires your effort to never do the stated activity but you are still not successful in never doing it until you die.  The easiest way to get rid of this stress and temptation is to go ahead and give in now so you can quit worrying about it.

     Those people who were successful stated that they did one of two things.  They put a time limit on how long they were going to make an effort.  Alcoholics Anonymous developed their famous strategy of saying, “I won’t drink today.”  That provides an achievable measurable act with a measurable outcome. The person may or may not get through the day without drinking but it is something that they can measure in regard to success.

     The second thing that successful people did was to state an alternative strategy or act.  Alcoholics Anonymous are famous for telling their members that when the urge to drink develops, call a fellow member for support.  People that were able to stop smoking stated that instead of smoking, they would use a nicotine patch or they would chew gum or they would use hard candy or something specific that they would do.  This is very different than the pressure that develops when your whole effort is not doing something.  State your goals in a positive and measurable fashion.

    Rule #3.  “Challenge yourself”.  I have always been amazed at how powerful the ego is.  It is amazing to watch what happens when somebody is told that they can’t do something.  And when the stakes are raised, as with a wager between two people, neither of whom could tolerate losing, it is amazing what people can do.  Last month I saw a gentleman who had lost 20 lbs in a year.  I inquired as to whether he was sick and he stated that he felt wonderful.  When I asked how he lost 20 lbs., he stated that he made a bet with his son on New Years Day 2003 that he could lose 20 lbs in a year.  They didn’t even bet anything material.  Rather, the wager was that the loser had to provide the winner with a brass plaque engraved with the words “I was wrong,  signed and dated by the loser.  There was no way that this Norwegian father was going to lose that bet.

     I am no stranger to the pleasures of good food.  I would never suggest that stopping self- destructive habits is easy.  Success in these efforts seems to be helped when people stop trying, state their goals in the positive, and provide an irresistible challenge.